| Who would have foreseen the result when it all started out so innocently? I should have known better when the two would-be developers approached me the first time with their grand ideas of a high rise. I told them I wasn’t interested in a design-build project. I didn’t need the work. But they persisted and eventually brought so much local political pressure to bear that I had no choice other than to at least hear them out and try to provide some guidance. Their inexperience was obvious from the way they talked about beginning construction as soon as they found a suitable location.
I told them they needed to write down what their purpose and needs were so they could consider how each option being considered measured up. They told me that they didn’t have time for such a process and already knew what they wanted. Being an engineer and always finding myself a little impatient with planners, I agreed to skip the scoping session. They said that they just needed me to finalize their plans and get on with the construction. When I asked if they had considered the environmental impacts of their proposed project they looked at me in disbelief. I felt obligated to explain to them that they needed to review such things as the potential impairment of existing view corridors, damage to native plants and destruction of wildlife habitat, as well as the impacts during construction.
With careful coaching the design evolved into a context sensitive solution that reflected an appreciation for the natural setting they had selected. The design provided a facility that met their needs, was acceptable to the immediate community, and was environmentally responsible. From the perspective of sustainability, it was a model project that incorporated natural lighting and ventilation, minimized energy consumption, and incorporated natural organic materials that for the most part were biodegradable. It was a grand plan that held back nothing, from the spiral staircase entry to a large deck and generous dimensions with high ceilings. I told the developers that after we obtained permits from the local authority, we could begin mobilization, order materials and begin construction.
It was at this point that I learned of their acute insolvency and that it was their intention for me to provide financing as well. I objected to their proposal and threatened to walk off the job. Once again, through blatant manipulation they brought so much political pressure to bear that I was forced to acquiesce to their demands. Before the entire issue could be resolved I had not agreed not to just pay for material, b ut to manage construction, act as resident engineer and serve as chief carpenter, laborer, a nd helper as well. I was so dumbfounded, I didn’t even bother see if a PLA was in place or what the union scale was for each of the hats I was to wear. Finally, the work began in earnest and was accompanied by the usual flurry of activity, noise, and dust.
It was at this point the first sign of trouble appeared. The resident engineer had just finished inspecting the footings that the laborer had poured when from high overhead the scolding chatter of a displaced resident brought all activity to a halt. One of the developers demanded the resident engineer properly evict this bushy individual before proceeding. As the resident engineer was in no mood for another political battle, he agreed. It was at this moment that pure inspiration (or at least the perception of such) overcame him as he spotted Otis sitting on top of the property fence. With a little slight of hand he was able to nab the feline and after re-positioning his grip, gave him a head start getting up the tree. This, followed by the scream of the laborer’s circular saw, encouraged Otis to seek shelter higher up. When bushy saw Otis coming he made the command decision to jump to an adjacent abode. Thinking his problems were solved the resident engineer encouraged the chief carpenter and helper to begin erecting the tower. The frame was starting to come together when, from way high overhead, came the unmistakable howling of Otis, who was now stuck at the top and unable to descend. The construction manager quickly looked around to see if the developers had noticed the howling. They had.
With a ladder that would make any big city fire department proud, the chief carpenter was directed to ascend the tower in search of Otis. When he reached the top of the ladder, the howling was still high above his head. With a single downward glance at the developers, the chief carpenter continued upward hand over foot disappearing out of sight. Otis, it turns out had gotten himself way out on a limb and no amount of coaxing would bring him back ,especially after having been tricked once from his perch on the fence. The suicidal chief carpenter ventured out with his feet supported by a lower branch and his hands on an upper branch.
The first few steps went well ... until the lower branch bent downward from the weight of the chief carpenter. It happened that the lower branch and one just above it were joined by a large hornet nest that freely tore in half
when the branch bent. The good news, if there was any at this point, was that all of a sudden Otis got religion and
scampered right back to the main trunk and began to descend. The fact that thousands of angry hornets had been the cause of this conversion had not escaped the chief carpenter who was now frantically trying to get back down to the ground himself. He made a truly impressive attempt and actually got to the top of the ladder and started down before losing his footing.
Fortunately, his fall was broken by some of the scaffolding. Even though he was only stunned for a few moments this provided ample time for the hornets to locate him and express their displeasure at the destruction of their colony. In all the excitement the chief carpenter rolled off the scaffolding and fell the remaining distance onto the footings. Upon impact, a carefully placed post anchor cut cleanly through his coveralls and into his leg.
The developers at this point were excitedly explaining the blow by blow details to the chief carpenter and Otis who was back on the fence. Having observed some of the activity from the front porch, the resident engineer’s wife turned the hose on the chief carpenter in an effort to cool off the hornets. Bruised, cut, bee-stung, and soaking wet, the chief carpenter gathered up the laborer, helper, resident engineer and construction manager and limped off towards shelter as the two developers described his appearance and recounted the events to their mother.
|
